Hatred vs Love (A Valentine's Day Revelation)

Tami and I finally get to meet for lunch...something that we haven't been able to do since freshman year. I for one was really looking for such an opportunity to catch up with each oher and to talk with each other, get to know each other again. I thought we will be spending the hr together and enjoying some great conversation together, enjoying each other's company or so I thought......

Lunch @ Lobdell, Tami find a random isolaetd spot and she leaves for something. I come along sits and sees this random person from a ballroom pe class i took 2 semesters ago. i say hi, we greet each other briefly, and then suddenly, he invites himself over to our table and sat down.

...after a couple of minutes some random computer mouse conversation goes by, rather boring for me...but sure i can handle that and then....

Tami: so where are you from?
guy: China
Me: guess where Tami's from?[
*several guesses...*
Me: She's Japanese.
guy: (loudly and boldly proclaims) I HATE JAPANESE PEOPLE!
Me: (thinks he's kidding and also in shock, laugh outloud)
guy: I'm serious

Debate, debate, lots of debate....aguing back and forth. But the gist of the convo was that this dude hates Japanese people not because he was ever hurt of offended by anyone Japanese, but because he read some books and decided to hate all Japanese people. And what's more, he thinks EVERYONE unconsciously hate certain groups and he believes that people ALWAYS form prejudiced opinions against others.

When asked, he said that he is someone full of hatred and that he prefers to be that way. He thinks that the world will always have evil and hatred and there will always be people out there who will do bad and evil and hate so there's no reason for people to change their thinking and actions to good and love.

Me: So what are your friends like? People who hate like you?
guy: yea, haters are all part of clans.
Tami: So are you part of a clan?
guy: ...no....

He also accepts racism because he thinks that the world is unfair to begin with and therefore all struggles are unncessary. Another words, if he would one day become personally discriminated against, he would just accept it because he thinks that everyone has their own personal hatred that they can't EVER change or modify. He thinks everyone lives within their sensory box and therefore EVERYONE is just like himself in terms of decision making and preferences as well as hates and dislikes.

Me: Do you know any Japanese people personally?
guy: no
Me: Have you considered doing a Japanese exchange program and to learn more about their culture?
guy: no, and I will never do so
Me: Then how will you dissolve that hatred?
guy: I won't. I like to HATE. I hate the Japanese.

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Honestly, this is the first time ever that I have EVER met such a person. How can someone be so narrowminded and stupid? I would imagine that if someone has offended you personally or has hurt your family members that you can exhibit such strong thoughts and beliefs. But this guy has never encountered any people, or lived through any experience to make an informed decision on such an important topic like hating another culture.

Debating with him, though, I really thought God was trying to send me a message. I had felt so frustrated and almost angry when he proclaimed his hatred, but then again, dont I have some personal hatred buried deep beneath my heart, something that I want to get rid of for a long time but couldnt?

I think though after this lunch, I would be able to let go the hatred that I had grown used to. If this is what hatred will turn a guy into, then that is definitely not what I want. If I can chose between hatred and love, I would pick love. But in order to love completely, I must let go of all hatred and fill that with forgiveness. I am lucky because I have Diana J to talk to about so many things now and after sharing some bits and pieces from my past, I realize that I too am filled with a hatred. Perhaps not as strongly as the guy for a culture, but definitely for a person and for a group of people. Even though in my case, they had wronged me, caused me pain, made me suffer, made me and my parents cry, but hatred is hatred. Why hold on to the bad memories and bad things that have happend just so I can hate someone and somethings? It doesn't mean anything. Instead, the extra room after eradicating hatred from my heart can be used for something more useful like loving others.

Another useful lesson is one can never tell what a person is like just from their outside look. I thought he was decent guy, at least an ok ballroom dancer, and yet he turned out to be such a narrow minded and hateful person. It's either that I can't judge people very well from their outside appearance, or its because people are just very good at hiding the bad and ugly.

In a way, I'm glad that he was open about his beliefs because he at least didn't want to lie to himself or others. On the other hand, because every time he spoke of his belief, he was trying to reinforce his own belief on such an issue, he can never change unless he takes a step back and look at the issue from a different perspective. The problem with me is that I try so hard to get rid of the hatred that has built up over the years, and yet because of the time and hurt, I can't completely. So I lie to myself and others saying that I have no hatred in my heart, whatsover, when in reality, the hatred is still there but hidden. But the difference with me and him is that I want to change and I want it very much. I dont know if there's a difference then between him and me. I hope so, because I want to be filled with love--ability to love others and be loved and not be innundated with hatred.

Anyway, this is my Valentine's day relevation of hatred vs love, yay! Rejoice in the fact that I am single, rejoice in the fact that I have MANY friends, people who care about me, rejoice in the people around me who loves me, rejoice!!!!!!

I really hope that with time, I will completely be filled with love.